DIARYLAND ||| DESIGN ||| PLEASE PRESS F11!
They wonder what attracts me to this portal; they wonder what makes staring at a piece of back-lighted glass with changing colours all so interesting. Its really different in cyberspace. you could see pictures of people you don't know you exist and who were born less than 20km from where you are, probably knew someone you knew, but somehow they ended up studying their final years of their youth somewhere out there in the wide wide world. Pictures of weddings in the rustic english countryside along with the ever so important captions detailing the atmosphere of the occasion and the people around; seeing the ceiling of the sistine chapel without leaving your chair; reading about how a certain professor tesla who proposed a death-ray to end the world's wars.
and 1 look away from the lighted portal reminds you of the stark reality of your life- the unkempt room, the lack of direction and general lack of social contact etc. its lonely being a netizen, but only when you're not on the net. Its hardly a replacement , but at least knowing that there are people out there who have similar lifestyles, like similar things, and have similar attitudes is comforting to an extent.
then there are those who look at this "predicament" or "affliction" and say things like ,"get a life". What they really don't see is that "a life" isn't given, and isn't gotten as easily as it is said. not to say that i've really put in the effort to detach myself from the virtual world, but its very different talking to a person than it is online. Its alot easier online as you have time to think between lines, search for unknown terms between pauses , and even play games while chatting. I make no excuses for myself.
This is a path i've chosen and honestly, it comes with its shortfalls, but has its moments of fun too. But what i read in the papers regarding love, addiction , their similarities as well as the recent article about glue sniffing and its effects on people who were between "high"s , has come to a head . Its really really a resemblance thats so uncanny that its actually for ,the first time in my life, scary.
yes, gaming, constantly online etc... its addictive and suddenly i can't use that as an excuse. I have a choice. Though you might think that this is really a tool, and all i did was spend 1.4k on a tool to really put my mind on overloaded high for the rest of my time in NS, i think its really not just overtaken my life, but also BECOME my life. And what happens when alcohol becomes your life? and what about more crippling things like drugs?
you may disagree with my notion of frequent, daily usage of the computer for more than 6 hours as a serious addiction, but try, just TRY for one week, IF you use the computer for more than a mere few hours, TRY TO STOP TOTALLY for 1 WEEK. no computer no email no nothing. And take a note, using PAPER and pen, how you feel from day to day.
but how would you guys understand? you don't game half as much as i blog.
