DIARYLAND ||| DESIGN ||| PLEASE PRESS F11!
anyway i've been clocking alot of hours of gaming and less of sleeping lol
but i was in a more morose, contemplative mode of thinking this afternoon on the way back from ocean's 13, which imo is still, very smooth lol lovely man.. the comedy is very intellectual.
anyway , on my way back i reassessed my priorities.. uh.. ok maybe not to that extent, but i rethought whether i wanted to stay single or whether i would like to get a gf. Well, i personally think no one would want me as me , and honestly somehow i think i'm right. not coz its some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, but coz of EARL. lol yes, that karma guy on TV.
" What would you give up , to be loved"
so meaning that if you're not prepared to give up something , in earl's friend's case, his testosterone, then you won't ever be loved. from the "nohari" window there are so many traits i could eliminate. and yet, the most pressing one is related even to this act i am doing now(blogging)-computers. Would i give up my computer, which i spent over 1.4k and about 72 hours setting up and overclocking successfully , to be loved? that answer, at this point in time, is no. So till i'm ready to do it, and someone gives me sufficient reason to, i think things will just remain status quo for now. If this keeps up, i'll be following in my the footsteps of many of my aunts and uncles...but they're not lonely coz they meet each other almost every week. But i don't have 7 other siblings... so will i be Sad? maybe.. but i don't think i'll be ready for any THOUGHT of a relationship now.
i used to think that that one thing, one person in my life was the only thing missing. It appears to me that there are far more things missing and things i need to straighten out , before i'll even consider letting someone into my life now. I don't think its very nice to be like jerry mcguire and go look for someone who "completes you". Wouldn't a couple be so much happier if they both were sharing with each other their own happy lives, instead of trying to make it work? but of course,does anyone really need to have that perfect life before you go out and find someone? Or does it just hit you in the ass like some arrow from above? lol
Well, i'm nearly flat broke now anyway , atfer i got my com.. so... its not like i'll be able to afford to go out and date someone... not with less than 500 in the bank..
I have come to the conclusion that i'll never get a gf because of the following !
1.insecure.
2.too miserly
3.bad with words
4.not enough gel in the hair (lol :X)
5.not good looking enough
6.too cynical
7.razor tounge
8.self denial
9.I won't give up something dear to me.
10.i'm just a selfish @$%@$!@$#%@#$
11.coz i believe all 10 off them LOL
the more i look at it, the more likely i'll get rejected by even those dating agencies for really despo ppl... LOL
